A leader who is self-aware enough to know that he or she is not adept at everything is one who has taken the first step toward being a great leader.
-Marshall Goldsmith
Background: In my pursuit of reading at least 10 books in 2025, I am excited to share insights from my 3rd read this year. This book resonates profoundly with the professional space, shedding light on a crucial contradiction of success.
Book Summary:
Find the “in spite of” behavior: The Trouble with Success is that our previous success often prevents us from achieving more success. Four key beliefs help us become successful but each can make it tough for us to change – I have succeeded, I can succeed, I will succeed, I choose to succeed.
Almost everyone I met is successful because of doing a lot of things right, and almost everyone I meet is successful in spite of some behavior that defies common sense.
-Marshall Goldsmith
The trick to continue to grow is to identify the “in spite of” behavior and work on learning how to overcome that.
Twenty habits that hold you back from the top:
- Winning too much – The need to win at all costs in all situations – when it matters and when it doesn’t.
- Adding too much value – The desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
- Passing judgement – The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
- Making destructive comments – The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks.
- Starting with “No”, “But” or “However” – The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, “I am right, you are wrong”.
- Telling the world how smart you are – The need to show people we are smarter than they think we are.
- Speaking when angry – The use of emotional volatility as a tool.
- Negativity or Let me explain why that won’t work – The constant criticism.
- Withholding information – The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
- Failing to give proper recognition – The inability to praise and reward.
- Claiming credit we don’t deserve – The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
- Making excuses – The need to reposition our annoying behavior so people excuse us for it.
- Clinging to the past – The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past.
- Playing favorites – Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
- Refusing to express regret – The inability to take responsibility for our actions and be vocally self-critical.
- Not listening – The most passive aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
- Failing to express gratitude – The lack of humility.
- Punishing the messenger – The need to attack the innocent who are usually trying to help us.
- Passing the buck – The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
- An excessive need to be “me” – The need for everyone to be like me.
Review: Reflecting on personal experiences, I am grateful to have learned from those who have effectively avoided these traps. I’ve also observed some of these behaviors in both successful individuals and myself. It’s a reminder of how easy it is to unknowingly adopt these behaviors, even amidst achievements. In Part 2 of my post, I will discuss some of the habits we can adopt to change. Stay Tuned!
May the 4th be with you!
